


Stalling over Scrabble

by Notmarysue



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV)
Genre: Acefandomfest, Asexual Character, Board Games, Established Relationship, F/M, Late Night Conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 02:39:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14844035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notmarysue/pseuds/Notmarysue
Summary: After nearly a solid year of putting it off Lemony finally decides to have a honest talk with Beatrice about the future of their relationship.Acefandomfest2k18: Prompt 1





	Stalling over Scrabble

Lemony Snicket was a man of many talents. Very few of them were actually useful, for example, he was yet to use his fantastic tenor to sing his way out of a tense situation, but they were talents nevertheless. One of his greatest skills, one that he prided himself very highly, was his ability to stall. He was an excellent staller. Once he had managed to halt a performance of Macbeth mid-scene for an entire twenty minutes while his brother dealt with a prolific thief using nothing but tap dance, slam poetry, and a soliloquy from a completely different play (interestingly he's impromptu appearance got a better review than the show itself). Most important was the ability to stall with Beatrice and the inevitable conversation about all the things they would do, or more accurately not do, together.

Lemony had never told anyone he was asexual. He wasn't really sure why. He knew his siblings would accept him regardless and didn't suspect anyone in what could loosely be referred to as his friendship group would care. Everyone in the VFD was far too busy to pay attention to each other's sexualities. With most people it was a 'good for you. Do you what makes you happy' kind of situation and then onto the next thing. If he managed to build up the courage he could easily blurt it out in the downtime and that would probably be the end of that. It was just Beatrice he was genuinely worried about. A year ago she would have been in the same category as everyone else, a supportive smile and a 'that's fine' when he was ready, but a year ago how he felt wouldn't affect her. A year ago they were just friends. Now they were a couple and planning to stay that way for a very long time, a lifetime in his eyes. The idea of growing old together was glorious. Unfortunately, it also put somewhat of a countdown on his seemingly endless stalling tactics. Recently, it was getting dangerously low to running out.

4 am, a Sunday. At least he was pretty sure it was a Sunday. He didn't know more certain. One magnificent ball and just the right amount of wine away from where he started on Saturday. Beatrice and he danced into their hallway with song still in their hearts and fell into their living room chairs. The alcohol had made her giggly, such a musical laugh, and he couldn't help but laugh too, though he wasn't sure at what.

"I had no idea you could dance like that." Laughed Beatrice.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, dear. For example, you probably don't know that I'm the only person to ever be charged in Cancun with 'malicious use of shadow puppets'." Lemony grinned.

"Alright, I'm going to leave a pin in that one for when we're sober." She smiled. "This has been such a perfect night." She sighed softly.

"Yes." He agreed.

"You know what would make it even better." Her teeth glistened as she leaned in close. Lemony's mind went back into stall mode. Stall, stall, stall. Whatever it took to put a few more weeks or months on the clock.

"Scrabble ." He announced, clearing his throat and leaping out of his chair. He quickly retrieved the box from a nearby cabinet. Oh, how he loved board games and all the family reunions, personal conversations, and overnight arrests they had got him through.

"Scrabble?" She asked as she shuffled back into the centre of her seat. "Lemony dear, you're terrible at scrabble. I always beat you. "

"Only because you cheat. You steal letters when you think I'm not looking. I've seen you do it." He reminded her as he set up the board.

"Oh, such a sore loser. I don't cheat. I simply innovate." She waved off. He smiled. He supposed a little rule breaking was a necessity for the VFD, it was just the getting caught that brought her down. "Lemony, you know I love you and your insistence on arguing with the dictionary itself whenever we play, and you know normally I'd seize the opportunity to beat you, but...I can't help but feel like there's a pattern here."

"Pattern? What pattern?" He asked, trying not to look back. Was it too late to avert this conversation away from him, maybe both of them? He hadn't asked about her family recently, that could distract her. No, that would sound suspicious. Beatrice was very good at spotting suspicious.

"Well, it seems that every time we have a night like this and I try to get close to you we end up...playing Scrabble." And there went the clock, he was sure of it.

"Okay." He sighed. "You're right. There is a pattern." He nodded as he got back into his chair and took her by the hand.

"Are you just not ready? I'll wait until you are if you need me to." She reassured him.

"That's the thing. I...I don't think I'm ever going to be ready." He told her.

"Oh...is it me?" She asked.

"No, no it's not you." He quickly assured her. "You're perfect. You're everything I could want in a woman and more. It's just I'm asexual. I don't feel that way about anyone. I don't think I ever have or ever will."

"I see...not once?"

"Well, I thought I was feeling some sort of attraction once. In Paris when I was a teenager there was this girl with really long blonde hair and a tan and I was convinced beyond any measure that I was feeling something towards her. As it turned out what I was feeling was hungry. I think I sort of laser-focused on the ice cream she had in her hand." He explained.

"What did you do?" She laughed.

"I went out and bought the best crepes I've ever tasted." He said.

"With chocolate sauce?" She asked, realising that it had been a while since she herself had eaten.

"And strawberries."

"Good man." She nodded.

"So...are you okay?" He asked awkwardly.

"Okay?" What on Earth did he mean like that? The room was swaying a bit from the wine, that usually wasn't a great sign, but she was in control and feeling good. Why wouldn't she be okay?

"I mean are we okay?" He asked quietly.

"Oh, Lemony." She sighed. "I love you, I certainly love you a lot more than sex, and there are plenty of things I'd willing give up to be with you." She smiled.

"Oh thank God." He sighed with relief. "Because I love you so much, Beatrice."

"I love you too." She laughed as she rose from a seat. "Well, since everything is moving way too much for scrabble I'm off to use the bed for its intended purpose. I'll see you whenever my hangover wakes me. Goodnight, Lemony." She drifted almost gracefully towards the door, still dancing ever so slightly.

"Goodnight, Beatrice."

"Lemony." She said turning back.

"Yes, dear?"

"How do I tell our entire friendship group they just lost a bet with your brother?" She asked.

"With shadow puppets of course." He smiled.

"Of course." She laughed back before disappearing out of the door. Lemony sat back in his chair and couldn't help but chuckle. Of course, Jacque had known the whole time.


End file.
